Initial opposition to having a homebirth
Opposition against your plans of having a homebirth can come from various people. Often it comes from your own family. The main reason given is 'what if something goes wrong?'. Especially husbands can feel very responsible for the safety of mum and baby. They might also have heard some 'horror stories'. Many times those fears however, are based on not being informed. Bad birth stories seem to travel much faster than stories about good experiences. Should you find yourself in the situation where you would like a homebirth, but your husband or other familiymembers are against it, make sure you know as much about the subject as possible. Read books, go to homebirth support groups in your area and speak to your midwife. That way you might be able to convince other people of your choice. Should you feel that your husband agrees but other family members don't (maybe your mother or mother-in-law) then it could be an option not to inform them of your choice. Having a baby is a big event and the last thing you need is the feeling of having to explain yourself to other people. Of course it would be great if people would support you in your choice, but some people believe in sticking to what they know. Regardless of that being the best choice for you or not...... The main thing to remember here though, is that you are the person that will have to give birth to this baby. And if you feel uncomfortable going into hospital than other people should really consider this. Because if you feel scarred or uncomfortable, then that can lead to a longer and more complicated birth.
Sometimes the opposition comes from an unexpected corner... your midwife or doctor. It could be that they are inexperienced with homebirth, or maybe they are too used to the hospital surroundings that they cannot imagine any other way of giving birth. Should that be the case, please don't give up but have a look at an other surgery. Or call your local hospital to find out about midwives supportive of homebirth. Should you not be successful within the NHS then there is the option of hiring an independent midwife. That however does have a bill attached.
Unfortunately, you still have to be quite direct with your wishes. I have spoken to many women that told their midwife they wanted a home birth, asked for more information but did not get the confirmation and support they had hoped for. So my advise is to read up on it. Get yourself connected with other home birth supporters, via home birth support groups and tell your midwife that that is what you want. Can she please tell you the procedure.
If a home birth is what you want, then please don't be put off by other people. You don't put yourself or your child at risk. If there is anything out of the ordinary during your labour, you will be transferred to hospital straight away. And the midwife is at your side all the time to check if everything is ok. Unlike in hospital where you might be left on your own for any amount of time because other women need their attention too!!
'I knew from the beginning of my pregnancy what I wanted...... A home water birth. So when I told the midwife, I expected her to be just as enthusiastic as I was. After all, she was the experienced one..... hmm NOT. Yes, maybe experienced, but enthusiastic .....NO. She basically told me: 'Well you might be lucky enough to have a home birth, but you might as well forget about a waterbirth'. I could not believe what she had just told me! We are in in the UK here! A well developed country and I could not opt for a home water birth???
I was certainly not going to be put off by this midwife!! Luckily a friend worked in a doctors surgery just down the road and via her I saw the midwives in her surgery. And sure enough, they WERE enthusiastic! As a matter of fact, they looked after me during pregnancy, birth and through my breastfeeding problems. And I can only say, they were fantastic! I was so pleased that I was not put off by this one local midwife, who might not have been experienced or maybe just did not like my forwardness with my wishes. Anyway, it is certainly worth asking around. you can always pick up the phone and call a different surgery or your local hospital'.
